Tragically, this year, my children have discovered a new found interest in the bake off and are insisting on watching with us. We managed to fob them off last week (they watched the next day) and thankfully the beginning of school will put and end to us needing to find excuses. Why so cruel…
Because*, my husband and I adore the bake off. We like to slurp tea and drool over the cakes/biscuits/bread. We love to bitch about the contestants – stop crying Ruby, stop giggling like an eejit Toby (although all forgiven, we love you so much for the salt/sugar debacle – making Hollywood spit in the first episode, hats off to you sir, hats off).
Everyone – stop cutting yourself, you loons. Never has the bake off fielded such a bunch of disaster riddled individuals.
Scientist chap – whilst we are in awe of your striped cigarello we fear for your sanity in the weeks to come. No-one can stay that calm.
Squirrel lady – you have just the right mix of crazy and skill. How will you make bread whimsical though (and will I ever understand the word whimsical?)
Messy hair girl – sort it out. At the moment, you’re getting away with it by virtue of reminding us of Miranda Richardson but we can only take your artful disarray for so long.
Welsh Lady – we like you because you remind us of our friend Mari (spurious).
Next week, I will learn their names I promise.
Most importantly, can Sue surpass the ‘bun loving criminals’ pun from last year. Ye Gods Sue, I hope you can do it.
Bring on the bread.
*just testing out starting a sentence with ‘because’ – it still hurts as much as text speak but I can do it. Pah to years of being told not to.